Two More Days

In 48 hours I will be at the hospital waiting for my nose surgery. Almost 7 years ago I had a light pinkish spot on the tip of my nose it was a little sensitive I had my doctor take a look at it and he froze the pink spot it scabbed over and it was fine for a few years but still a little pink. A few years later it started getting a light scab over it again almost like when you get sun burned and your skin peels never really a big scab. I had gone to a dermatologist for another spot and she froze the spot on my nose again. It was good for another few years until last Summer it was doing the same thing so I went back to my dermatologist (a different) and she wanted to do a biopsy. I had asked her if I could go to my plastic surgeon to have him do the biopsy and she told me he does not do things like this. I told her I did not want just anyone cutting on my face. Well I called my plastic surgeons office and they were like sure come on in. I had another basal cell carcinoma taken off by this plastic surgeon in Oct 07 on my upper chest almost by my shoulder so I knew him from before. I had another spot on my chest that I needed checked too. I ended up putting off going in until January since we were so busy in November and December I did not want to get bad news during the holidays now I am glad I put it off since it did end up being basal cell carcinoma. I had searched for pictures and stories like mine on the internet and could not find anything and the things I found scared the crap out of me.

I have been really freaked out about this whole thing from being put under to not knowing what my nose will look like after this is all done. When I think of being awake for this and not knowing how long it will take or how many times they might have to take off more of my nose and send it to the pathologist the more I do not want to be awake knowing what is going on and when I wake up it will all be over. I have not been put out since Oct 84 for my wisdom teeth. I know everything will be alright but it does not keep me from being scared. Can you tell I like to be in control? I keep thinking back to my c-section in 2004 and the reaction I had to demoral and all the crap they put in me. My body could never do drugs lol thank gosh.

I just had my husband take a few pictures of my nose. These pictures are taken about 6 week after my biopsy.